Beware brag books - blog - Sister to Sister

January 25, 2019, Brag books are no help

The last two, popular, self help books I have started, but not finished, were brag books. The writer tells how smart she is, how hard working she is, how successful she and her husband are.  And occasionally she mentions she has a perfect baby and how she had a monster of a birthday cake for the baby's first birthday and all the presents and other birthday stuff.  I had forgotten that she had taken a day off some time back to birth a baby.   

She tells how she has it all, she even reads a book to her baby at least three nights a week when the child is going to sleep. She believes working moms spend more time with their children than stay at home moms. There is no mention of what happens to the baby the rest of the time, especially while she is across the country several days on a book tour and her husband is at work doing his well paid, important job.  She gives all kinds of details about her fabulous life, great hotel rooms, special treatment by lots of people, making lots of money, and people constantly telling her how great she is and the custom designed new house on a tropical island.   

I have started several books along that line but not finished them.  I know why this kind of book is popular.  Women read it while day dreaming they are having that kind of life.  But the author does not describe any moments in her life where she is truly happy and content, just her struggles to keep up the illusion of a enviable life.

Women that read these books want to learn how to have a better live. Unfortunately, they will never have that life they want by fantasizing.  

Having the life of your choice involves getting down and dirty and working, making hard choices, learning new skills and a lot of other things that are not glamorous or exciting. A lot of dull work is involved. But there is the excitement and satisfaction of accomplishments, large and small, that get one closer to the goal post. Yes, you can have it all. NO, you can not have it all at the same time.    

Reading these brag books is pushing you backwards. Look for realistic books on how to work hard and smart, how to choose your expectations and how to achieve the goals you really want. You can do it.

You could have a productive life into your eighties, maybe longer. That is pleanty of time to have it all, but spread out over a life time. Reading brag books will not give you much help attaining your goals. Reading books that show you have to identify your goals and how to attain them will. You can do it. You have what it takes. Mostly it just takes persistence. And if a skill is involved, practice.

If you want an example of persistence, watch a little toddler learning to walk. That is the ultimate persistence. One day that clumsy toddler may be a famous ballet dancer. And one day you have a good chance of achieving your goal if you do not quit.