happiness - Sister to Sister

Wrong beliefs that destroy your happy

There are four common beliefs that are not even close to correct. 

1.  Find passion (hot sex) and you have found your soul mate and will be happy ever after.

2. Get lots of money and you will be able to buy anything you want and will be happy ever after.

3.  Have a child, or several, and you will be fulfilled and be happy ever after.

Number one is just wrong. You do not have to love or like the person you are passionate about.  Passion is simple hormones.  Hormones weaken with time and fade away. True love starts as friendship and grows into love. Love is comfortable and secure and reliable and gets stronger with time..

Number two is a huge lie.  Money does not buy happiness. The novelty of having money only last about four years and then life returns to the same setting as it was before the money. Then we need another shot of money.  Money is like drugs, more and more and more is needed for satisfaction over time.

Number three is the most wonderful, scariest, stressful thing you could possibly do and it will follow you to your grave.  Children are incredibly precious and your life will never again be your own.  From the moment you know there is a tiny life growing, your whole being will be dedicated twenty-four-seven to the protection and nurturing of the little one even when that little one becomes taller than you and  grows while hair.  And you would do it all over again because you will not know that kind of love, joy, fear and willingness to sacrifice all for that one person (or several persons if you have more than one child).

And when you have grandchildren, they will be included in that circle  of love, sacrifice, joy and fear.

There is no happy ever after.  Even in the happiest lives, there is trouble, stress and sadness. Bad times help us appreciate and enjoy the good times even more.  Sunshine is sweetest after a freezing rain.  True love is still strong when wrinkles, white hair (or no hair), and sags make us wonder what happened to our young self. While there is no happy ever after, there is a lot of happy between sad times and all of this is your life and you would trade it for no other life.

Hug your loved ones, tell them you love them and enjoy the life you have.